Acceptance
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My Hair Has Seen It All
The ends of my hair have seen so many memories. They have blown in the wind while standing on top of a vast, beautiful mountain in Argentina. They have have laid on friends’ shoulders as I cried into the fabric of their shirts. They have bounced in a ponytail, side to side, as I hiked…
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Finally Admitting
There is sometimes so much power in admitting things. I often find myself wanting to say that I’m depressed, anxious, or overwhelmed, but there is this other voice that tells me that I should also be grateful, happy, excited, and grateful again. I must stay grateful. But there is something just so oddly satisfying about…
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Film Pictures
I think I’ve spent the last four years trying to figure out who I would be without the influence of my family, the people around me, the media, society… Like if I grew up on a beach alone, who would I be? When in reality, that will never be the case It never is the…
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We Are Never “Doing it Wrong”
Maybe we never need to learn anything new Maybe we have always had the answers in us in our gut reactions in our intuiotons in our deepest feelings Maybe we don’t ever have to think about how we feel or the way to find them Maybe life isn’t a journey of collecting new ideas things…
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Of Course
Of course you feel like this. Of course you’re angry. Of course your devestated. Of course your terrified. Sometimes, when our critical or anxious voice has been in control of our minds for too long and we need to hear ourselves again, a little “of course” goes such a long way. Of course that voice…
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True Integrity – Real or Bullshit?
I’m feeling lost. Still. God dammit. I can feel myself getting mad for losing my way again. But then I ask: aren’t we all a little lost? Do we ever truly know for sure what we are doing? Doesn’t anyone who says they aren’t lost seem like they are kidding themselves? Either that, or they…
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Lemon Seeds
To squeeze the marrow out of life like we squeeze the juice out of a lemon means we will inevitably encounter some seeds along the way. But these seeds are nourishment, too – they hold wisdom, like a kernel full of secrets – we just need to stop throwing them away. Just because we don’t…
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A Note To Our “Best” Selves
Sometimes I look at some books on my shelf and I get so mad. When I’m feeling light, confident, and grounded, I buy books that let me connect deeper to myself. Books that open my mind, make me learn more, dive deeper into life’s questions, and explore the hard things in life. But when I’m…
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Deeply Satisfied
It feels so good to be deeply satisfied sitting in some sadness, like a hot bath with some drops of tears, surrounded like a big hug of water, than it ever has been aiming relentlessly to be overtly happy.
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It Should Feel Like Dancing
To work with “God” means to be in a dance with the universe. They give you an opportunity, you take it and dance with it. Make it something even more beautiful. We must create with our own minds and hands, but share the creation with the one who made the materials in the first place.…
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Let Go Of Self-Will
So, here is a secret: You don’t have to do anything. You don’t actually have any self-will in life. You are being led to your most good, authentic, connected life. The life that your soul truly wants for you. The life that your soul is trying to build for you. And all you have to…
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Relinquish The Pressure
Sometimes it makes me mad how little my brain can process or notice things. Sometimes I keep telling myself how I want to work on this, fix that, change this, get better at that. But what I really need to do is let go of guilt and shame. There is no pressure in life except…
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Fall Into
Your dreams have to be your own. You can hope they align with someone else’s, try to change them, be scared to death by what may happen, but your dreams will never give up on you.Dreams will always push back, like a song that’s stuck in your head.You can try to put them on hold,but…
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Just Be
It’s not what you are, it’s that you are. It’s just being. That’s all it ever is. And that’s all it ever needs to be to prove our worth. To prove our power.
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Imperfection Makes The Most Beautiful Sunsets
There is no perfect life sitting out there like pieces to a puzzle waiting to be collected. We are all individual, imperfect pieces that will never perfectly fit with anyone else or anything else or anywhere else. We shouldn’t be searching for exact matches. We should just be searching for similar edges. Similar colors on…
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Weakness
Sometimes we want community so badly and we become so worried about making others like us that we don’t relax into our humanness. But tomorrow I want to be weak. Squishy, like the soul. Soft, loving, unshielded, unprotected, warm, unphased if people are cruel to me or not. Weak. I wish to recognize that I…
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Only Air
A reminder that when thoughts come into your head they are just flying through. They are not from you, they are from somewhere else. They are not meant to live in us even if we think they do. Like clouds passing over our heads, they are meant to leave us. We are the beautiful, clear…
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We’re Meant to Slip Away
Nothing is sustainable, even joy, or even the best things in life. Nothing was meant to be sustainable. Our bodies cannot have the same exact foods everyday; they need diversity. Our muscles cannot use 100% of their strength all the time; they need rest and recovery to grow. Does this mean that our relationships are…
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Messy Kitchens
Has individualism made is anti-relationships? Has the idea that we don’t need anyone but ourselves implanted some idea that we are all better off alone? When in fact we are missing the whole point of life? We all are supposed to have other people. We are supposed to lean on others. We need others. True,…
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Pushing & Pulling
Life is a balance of both pushing and pulling, pushing for your goals and pulling back to slow down. Pushing to fight for what you deserve but pulling back to remember to smell the flowers and breathe. And knowing when to push and when to pull is the hardest part. However, I think we can…
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Nothing Can Be Changed
There will always be little annoyances in life. and we can either spend our days being angry that they’re there wasting time trying to get rid of them, or we can practice ignoring them living with them. Sometimes knowing that some things will never go away makes it easier for us to live with them.…
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Fantasizing
Why do I always fantasize about me playing another instrument in front of a group of people? I will never, ever, be able to play the flute like I imagine in my daydreams, or whip out a James Taylor guitar solo around a fire. When I leave my body and daydream these unrealistic scenarios, I…
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Cups of Coffee
cups of coffee in the morning stretching the muscles in your body hearing birds chirp looking out into the world through a window feeling the sun on your face feeling the wind tickle your skin wearing clothes that make you feel good a hot shower with deliciously smelling soap a warm breakfast with your favorite…
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Coming Back
When we get lost, we always come back but it gets a lot harder if we try to convince ourselves that we’re not lost. We get lost; we are human. We sometimes have to get lost in order to figure out where to go next. But I always seem to find my way back when…
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Badness
We must fully accept ourselves for who we are before we can service the world. And in order to fully accept ourselves, we have to love ourselves even if we are “bad.” We must pretend the whole worlds absolutely hates us and still choose to love ourselves. We often are told from the beginning that…
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There’s Always Enough
Humans are nature, and nature is perfect. And yet, the soul of the universe, as beautiful as it is, is just within a world that doesn’t have enough space for it all to exist at once. So, it created life, a linear, finite home for it to breathe. And we, as parts of life, think…
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The Absolute Perfection in Messiness
Life is messy. Trees are messy. They have cracks, they’re sticky with sap, and their leaves have rips and plenty of imperfections. Their leaves make a mess on the ground every winter, the wet and smelly dirt in which their roots grow contains millions of worms and insects. Birds sit on the their branches and…
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Hold Out Your Tongue
A flower will die trying to feed itself with only the water it already contains within itself. And we, too, cannot grow without opening our mouths to water from the skies; without opening ourselves to energy from the sun, or advice from others, or suffering from pain. So trust that you will be nurtured from…
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As It Is
I often hear a thought saying that the world is out to get me. When actually, the world has been working itself out for billions of years. And the world has been working me out for billions of years, too. The outcomes of events on earth have been calculated and practiced in order to work…
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Delusion, The Anecdote to Madness
Is delusion an anecdote to madness? We, humans, like to overthink, reason, deduce, search, discover, problem-solve, find solutions; when in reality, there is no solution to anything. There is no purpose to life, there is no use of life being on earth, and this unsolvable question of why we are here, this endless quest, can…
Ali Walks Around 